I spent the past couple of MOBILE weeks (hallelujah!! I'm not kidding in the slightest when I tell you that Darin really didn't think this was ever going to heal...) catching up on all of the things that I hadn't been doing and making the most of my time with Grandma still around. It is amazing how great it can be to get groceries, go to the bus stop and simply drive! I've gotten a lot of Christmas shopping done, had lunch with just about everyone that I know and semi-prepared myself to start taking care of my own life once again. I'm finally feeling as if I might actually be ok on my own... Audrey packed up and headed back to Denver (or, "Coloroada", according the Neely...) this past weekend. It was a teary moment for all of us (although I'm not sure if hers were tears of joy or sorrow... ha ha!) because we get very used to having her around when she is here and it is tough for the kids to understand that it is really "all" or "nothing" with this kind of distance. Many of our neighbors and friends have grown close to her as well, so we will all be anxiously awaiting her return next spring. And this time, it will be all for fun! (or, at least mainly for fun... seems that I am not ever really going to be free of appointments and injections)
I kicked off my return to normal life by returning to church (fitting, really...) on Oct. 31st. I won't say that it was the most comfortable experience, but I sat through the whole thing! Then we celebrated the birthday of one of our closest friend's at one of our favorite places (Jimmy Wan's - special thanks to the Karr family for knowing that we love it there...). The very next day was Neely's 6th birthday party with several little girlfriends from the neighborhood. (Hence the photo...) It all went very well and she is now a big 3 year old!! In the midst of all of the fun, I also returned to Magee for my second suppression shot (if I actually knew the name of the drug I would tell you, but it seems that I have stopped paying attention to such "minor" details!). It went much more smoothly than the first but I'm not sure if that is because I knew what to expect or if it was done better... it was pretty funny that when the nurse called me back, she took one look at me and said, "oh... I was hoping that you'd be bigger" (apparently this torture is easier to give with greater belly girth... ha ha). Next, I returned to my gynecologist to discuss my upcoming D&C. Everyone still believes that this is the best course of action even though they are fairly convinced that my recent bleeding was due to a return to normal female functioning. (As it turns out, my endometrial lining is thicker than it should be and given my increased risks for endometrial cancer and other female cancers, they just want to be "sure") That is now set for Dec. 13 and your prayers would be greatly appreciated!! After that we went back to Dr. Gimble, our plastic surgeon. He is pleased with my progress thus far and told me that I was cleared to do "everything". I said, "great, I want to get back to doing lunges and squats". To which he immediately said, "but I don't think that you should be doing that!". Darin was thinking that he should probably consider his audience when he says that you are cleared to do EVERYTHING. ha ha... So... all of that to say that I am easing back into exercise (YAY!!) and everything else that I used to do (good-bye Amanda with your cleaning prowess... I will miss you! ha ha). However, I still have much healing to do so I will not see him again until about February and will have my follow-up surgery around Marchish. I'll keep you posted!
Of the many devotionals and verses that have stuck out to me over the past month, I jotted this one down to specifically include here. It is from Stormie Omartian's book, "Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On".
"God's call on all of us is to be a light to those who are in darkness, but sometimes He has to take us through our own darkness so we will learn to depend totally on His light."
I pray that this is what I get from the journey through this darkness. Learning to depend solely on His light is such a gift for navigating life. So often we ask ourselves why we are here or if wherever we are in life is "all there is". In this book, Stormie reminds us that in order to hear God's call on our lives (because there is one for everyone), we must be expecting it. And sometimes that call, leads us through the darkest places that we can imagine in order to prepare us to fulfill it. Not an easy idea but one that we don't tackle alone or under our own power. I've said it before and I'll say it again... I'm thankful for this opportunity. And thank you all for your prayers and suggestions about where it should go from here!
