Return to oncology

Good morning! We returned to see Dr. Puhalla (a very pregnant Dr. Puhalla... how she manages to keep up with her profession, 4 year old twins and very soon a newborn is WAAAAAAY beyond me!!) yesterday afternoon after a very stressful 5 days. I had my follow-up CT and bone scans on Thursday and naturally they had to take extra pictures in the bone scan... of my head... I'm not sure how savvy any of you are with medical imaging, but extra pictures mean that they see something that doesn't belong and they are trying to clarify what exactly it is. Not a good feeling to have extra pictures taken anywhere, but particularly of your head!! She asked me if I had sinus problems or issues with my teeth and all that I could hear was, "so you have about 6 months to live". Thank goodness for a family celebration that night at Mad Mex (we had to move the original date because Dryden wasn't feeling well and Mad Mex is no place to be if you aren't hungry and in the mood for noise! Ask Heidi and Deb... it's their favorite "Pittsburgh" place to visit!) to get our minds onto other things. Like the impending (or so we figured) US - Canada gold medal hockey game. We ran into Ed and the boys (LOVING that hair Nolan!! I put that in for you, Cort... ha ha) and Ed & Darin put a friendly wager on the game (we're still waiting over here, Ed... at least it was Syd who buried it in OT, right???). Then there was the perfect timing of a night out (a LATE night out... wow, guess that I needed that more than I realized!) with the neighborhood girls (I hope you know that I have worn the necklace every day since... you girls are AWESOME!!!!!) and a twice delayed weekend visit from my parents to keep us all busy. First I had a morning hand measurement - yes, now I need a "gauntlet" (and here you thought that was just another stupid show on MTV...) because the sleeve alone is causing pain into my hand. But, just when I was imagining a summer of terrible ugliness, a few different friends sent me this website: http://www.lymphedivas.com/ . I can see a few of these in my future... especially for the summer when they will be exposed all the time. Darin wasn't terribly impressed... ha ha. After Parker got home from school I took off to pick up Darin to go to Magee for more Zometa (looking forward to those flu-like side effects...) and a visit with Dr. P. My appointment was at 2:45 and we didn't leave Magee until 5:30... which meant that the boys missed their first night of the new hockey session (fortunately they can do a make-up day... in all of our spare time... whatever happened to SLOWING life down??). ugh! It's always FOREVER when you are there, but God bless her she is super chatty and always takes time to talk about our kids (hers and ours!). Turns out the the scans were all fine (not even a mention about why they took extra pictures of my HEAD... Dr. Puhalla said that they often think that they see something and then don't find it when they take subsequent shots. Would've been nice to know that on Thursday!!) and I will be starting out on Tamoxifen for the foreseeable future. She described that as a "moving target" that could change when they determine whether I am truly in menopause (which is where she wants me). We'll see how that works out, but in all honesty, the hot flashes & night sweats can't get much worse! She did recommend acupuncture for those and let me tell you, I am ready to move heave and earth to give that a try. She also recommended seeing Dr. Laird, the naturopath, for any additional supplementation (I already take vitamin E and D on top of a multi-vitamin) and nutritional changes. It is always daunting to me to schedule more appointments, but I just need to dig in and make it work! It really feels good to finally be looking at this side of things and I am so thankful to have doctors who support an integrated approach to cancer care. I still have to see Dr. Ahrendt (surgeon) and start the reconstruction process all over again with plastic surgeons, so it isn't really "over" yet, but at least we are moving in the right direction as of today!

The support, meals, prayers, gifts and love has been relentless. I'm so afraid that we will never, ever be able to help you all realize what it has meant to us... no thank you card in the world will cover it and no words do it justice. We are humbled, we are hopeful and we have met Jesus in a way that we never imagined possible this side of heaven. Clearly this ordeal is not over, it's probably never really over, but regardless of what direction it takes... we are blessed and we are so loved both in heaven and on earth. Thank you, thank you, thank you.