Apologies aside… I am back to what has kept me from coming here for these past several… years… What to say??? Update is necessary, I guess. I am pretty darn healthy. Ha ha. Done! Just kidding. I return to Magee Women's Hospital every three months. At these appointments I have a long hollow needle inserted into my stomach where they inject, via a trigger (are you getting the impression that this is painful? It is…) a medication that suppresses my yet to retreat into menopause, ovaries. They have hinted, not so subtly, that I could just have them removed in order to avoid this painful procedure but for some reason I just can't seem to take this step. I keep asking when I will be in menopause so that I can forget all of this, and they laugh a little bit. I don't see the humor, myself. Apparently they aren't even interested in testing my hormone levels for another five years or something silly. Nice.
I see my oncologist every six months (not counting the times that I see her at the rink… no joke, her son is in the same session as Parker. I have also seen my radiation oncologist at the rink… either I am spending too much time at the rink - which is HIGHLY likely - or everyone involved in cancer in some way plays hockey… research idea NIH??). In addition to the detailed health history (remember that there is no routine scanning in my world, only acute hypochondria is used to identify any possible metastasis), I also get bloodwork and a round of zometa via my port (only reason that I am holding onto it… think that I have about three more years of this to go…). Supposedly it has already been determined that this drug does NOT increase the disease-free interval for patients like myself (bummer) but it can help to prevent some of the bone-wasting effects of chemotherapy. However… don't take it for too long or it will cause bone-wasting. Are you keeping up here? Not complicated or seemingly contradictory at all. Grr.
We have had a couple of scares since I was last here. Some weird lumps and pains as well as a bizarre aphasic episode (this is when you are thinking words to say but can't physically make your mouth say them… very strange and unsettling!). Both times it started a fire drill of scans and appointments but for now all is clear! It also starts you right down a dark path of "this is the end", etc. etc. It is incredibly disturbing to me how this path can create symptoms all on its own. At this stage, battling this disease is definitely a battle most often fought in the mind. We are still on a learning curve with this…
I have continued hot flashes that are probably one of the most debilitating, lasting effects. Sounds pretty innocuous but you have no idea, if you don't experience them yourself! Apparently they are a side-effect of the one actual cancer drug that I take daily so there is really no escaping them aside from the suggested anti-depressant (seriously?? Not a chance that I am taking that for hot flashes) or possibly acupuncture, which I would try but have failed to get insurance approval for and don't really care to pay for right now. So… I sweat…
Well… that is pretty much the health update! Feeling pretty good and living life pretty normally these days. Since it is finally clear to me that there must be more to say… I am hoping to be here regularly to dispense useless information from our lives and experience (just kidding… that sounds like I am mocking God's prodding in my life. I really am not… I'm just mocking my life… ha ha!! Or, more accurately, just can't see what it is that He sees, but what is new about that??? As Rock so often likes to say, we are in sales, NOT management… ) Here's to another Monday!
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