And so it REALLY begins...

I guess now that I am truly convinced that I have cancer. Sitting in that chemo room and getting down to the nitty gritty will do that to a person, I suppose. It was hard to hear all of the possible side effects again but one big praise was that - so far- I didn't react to the Taxotere (which could cause shortness of breath & pain - however, this usually happens on the second dose so tune in in a couple of weeks for the final verdict on that...). Once again we were there for 5 1/2 hours (we left the house around 7:15am and got home around 2:15) and they say that my treatments will take around 3 hours each (not counting the part where you sit in the waiting room for at least an hour...). So far I am tired with a dull headache and my stomach is feeling funky but who knows how much of that is truly chemo and how much is the power of suggestion?? I guess that I'll know more in a couple of days. Thank you all for your prayers. It was a tough morning (I got all weepy again when I asked to make my appointment later so that I could make it to Parker's first day of school where they take a picture of you & your mom to put on the wall, etc. etc. and again before chemo started... ugh, I don't really enjoy the "weepy" Kristen too much... I'd like to send her back from whence she came). This continues to be such a roller coaster ride and I run the gamut between confidence and faith to weepiness and despair. I have no idea where I would be without the multitude of prayer support... I know that it is what serves to keep us going.

We spent an awesome weekend at the cabin (hence the pic of the kids... although, everyone looks so weary! We need to start doing the group shot at the beginning of the weekend...) catching up, fishing, barbecuing chicken, etc. etc. The guys even got away to golf. We got too little sleep but it was all worth it to spend time with such amazing friends! It never seems like long enough either... one of these years we need to extend it by a day. :)

We also got to spend Monday back here in Pittsburgh at Idlewild park (I know... it turns out that I was trying to cram a little too much into my chemo-free days, but I'm glad that I did it for the kids - the laundry will get finished some day, right??) with good friends from our neighborhood. whew...

Now, chemo has begun and school is right around the corner. I can hardly believe it. It will be particularly difficult to send my firstborn away for the entire day!?!! wow. But for now we are focused on getting through this and looking forward for the day when it is ALL over (at least the day-to-day cancer stuff anyway!). You all are such a huge part of that for us and we love you all for it!!

This afternoon, after a very long day, I picked up one of my new devotionals (thanks Norene!) and found some incredibly appropriate (although not always easy to hear...) words:

"Expect to encounter adversity in your life, remembering that you live in a deeply fallen world. Stop trying to find a way that circumvents difficulties. The main problem with an easy life is that it masks your need for Me. When you became a Christian, I infused My very Life into you, empowering you to live on a supernatural plane by depending on Me.

Anticipate coming face to face with impossibilities: situations totally beyond your ability to handle. This awareness of your inadequacy is not something you should try to evade. It is precisely where I want you - the best place to encounter Me in My Glory and Power. When you see armies of problems marching toward you, cry out to Me! Allow Me to fight for you. Watch Me working on your behalf, as you rest in the shadow of My Almighty Peace."