Saved by Hot and Sour soup...

So another cycle has come and gone and with it a NEW problem... thrush. Who knew that the slimy whiteness on my tongue wasn't just part of the regular awfulness of chemo?? (my neighbor, the nurse practitioner to transplant patients, that's who. She took one look at my tongue and said, "oh yeah, you have thrush". thanks Susan!) It was five days of almost nothing to eat (even eggs are getting rough...), truly EVERYTHING is just awful until I started craving hot and sour soup. Off to Tai Pei goes Darin (and Neely, who got a "tookie" for her trouble) saying, "are you sure that you are actually going to be able to eat this??" and then again to Yama Sushi on Sunday when I decided that rolls where the only thing that would do. For some reason Asian flavors (taste like flavors, for one) are working and to not have my stomach turning (and churning) for just a little while was truly like heaven. Although, there was a little tofu (a big no-no for estrogen-driven cancers...) in the hot & sour soup so I may need to try egg-drop next time...

The initial days seem to be getting harder but I will say that I felt a little better this weekend than I did the last time at this time (if that makes any sense...). We made it to one service at church, I got outside for some bike-riding (and wrestling - not me, the boys... Dryden lost ANOTHER tooth in the process! He truly is the toothless wonder now...) and generally felt like I got to enjoy the weekend a little bit with my family. I am feeling my energy slowly returning today as my tongue goes from it's weird sliminess and utter revulsion to food to it's scalded, painful state (but, leave it to Janelle to find a way to send ice cream through the mail!! You're unbelievable...). However, I am finding that just thinking about the chemo room (and in particular the lunch that they bring around - for whatever reason...) can make me nauseous and ill-feeling. It is getting harder and harder to think about going through this again and again. Please pray for strength (yes, starting now!! ) to endure for the remaining treatments. The sick feelings and bevy of meds that come with them are getting pretty tough to take.

Another big thank you to my mom for spending yet another week here cleaning up after us, taking care of the kids and wrapping up whatever produce gets left behind in the chemo-madness. The sacrifices and offerings of everyone around us serve as such a tangible reminder of God's love and care for us even when it feels like everything is stacked against us. The meals keep coming in droves (and look delicious... it is a little like torture for me but I'm so happy that my family is well-fed!) and the prayers, encouragement (even if it's late... you know who you are... ha ha!!! I just had to add that because so many of you get so upset if you are a little late! Please don't worry about that at all... God puts things right where they should be and, as we all know by now, He is seldom early but never late!) and other little pick-me-ups just continue to carry us on when it feels like we simply can't anymore. Thank you for not forgetting about us as this drags on and on!

Last Monday's "chemo lunch" (while not well-attended... what? other people have lives outside of cancer?? how can that be... ha ha!) was a huge success. I've been taking myself - with whatever friends are free and willing - out for a last lunch of whatever I crave for that one moment that remains when I can - kind of, at this point - taste it. We had Thai food (and amazing hot & sour soup, which may be what was driving my determination that it would actually taste good now. I'm glad that I didn't ruin it!) and a little sense of freedom and fun. It is a bittersweet time for me.

We have healthy kids (and Mom... sort of) again here and Dryden started developmental hockey (which is a riot because he calls it "demental" hockey). While skating is not his forte, Darin said that he had more hockey sense than any of the kids in his group and was the only one to score in their little 10 minute scrimmage. Gotta love it. Darin is hoping to get both he and Parker out to do some extra skating (Parker still does his Friday morning class) during the week now that soccer has wrapped up, but it seems like those after school hours just fly by and the next thing that we know, it is bed time. Neely is just about to be two (when did that happen???) and is SOOOOO two... She is bossy, hilarious and full to the brim with personality. This Sunday she pranced off to church in a lovely tan velvet jumper (it was so cute Kelly! I should've taken a picture for you...) with pockets full of her latest favorite, "nunjas" (tiny ninjas from the Wildwood Highlands toy counter where you exchange your game tickets). We were too tired to wrestle them from her and she promised that she wouldn't lose them. It was too much. And Parker, well, Parker is still the one who is struggling and the most effected, I would have to say. He is kind of contrary and defiant but almost always on the verge of crying. He randomly says things like, "I just wish that my mom didn't have to have cancer" and on any given day does or doesn't want to go to school passionately. So... we try to be sensitive while not allowing him to be a complete brat... it's a balance.

So, now we're off to a new week that will hopefully be productive, mindful and well... just normal.