Two steps forward and one step back...

Remember how I said that this is around the time when things can start popping open?  And by "things" I'm talking about all of the scars crisscrossing my leg and chest.  (I like to think that I'm an overachiever having had the really big incision explosion about two weeks early...) Well... after that little excursion to see Parker play hockey and some increased activity around the house (I'm going crazy here people and I am feeling better!!), we noticed that the incision a little further down my leg looks to be separating a bit.  Needless to say, I've been ushered back into my bed to lounge almost full-time and I'm none too happy about it!  But while I've been sitting here wiling away the days I've been trying to think about ways to turn reading, researching and writing into something that would contribute in a financial way to our family.  I've tossed around the idea of putting ads on this site (I'm struggling with how that would commercialize me...) and I've been looking into some freelance writing (I'm really not feeling this so far... it just doesn't seem like the right venue for me).  I'd appreciate your prayers about all of this too.  So many of you have said things like I should write a book or a devotional (what would I do, just copy all of Jesus Calling??  I don't think that Sarah Young or her lawyers would appreciate that...) but I just don't know.  I enjoy writing about where I am in the moment but I'm not an expert at anything and am not really sure that there is a wide audience for what I have to say... any thoughts??  I have no doubt that God has a plan for my cancer which has to include all of this time for reflection and contemplation.  I just wish that I knew what those next steps looked like...

Maybe one of them is to PRAISE. 

"The best response to losses or thwarted hopes is praise. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. Remember that all good things - your possessions, your family and friends, your health and abilities, your time - are gifts from Me. Instead of feeling entitled to all these blessings, respond to them with gratitude. Be prepared to let go of anything I take from you, but never let go of My hand!"

I read this this morning in "Jesus Calling" (where else??) and it really hit home.  I am not entitled to any of the blessings that God has given me and am I as regularly thankful for them as I should be?  I think living in a state of grateful worship takes practice.  Let me let go of the things that He has removed and welcome those that He is choosing to add... may I be thankful for them all!