Death by information overload

First of all, I'd just like to say thank you to all of you who are keeping in touch via this blog and email. Darin and I both check incessantly and are so encouraged by all of your thoughts, prayers and funny stuff. It is comforting to know that I have even inspired some of you to run straight to your grocer's freezer for the ever satisfying pint of Ben & Jerry's. I will say, that is the first thing that Darin did for me... I love you baby.

So this morning I spent half an hour on the phone (and you know that God is working because I COULD spend a half hour on the phone with three little dudes in the house!) with a nurse from opinion #1's office. She was fantastic and really gave me the lay of the land in terms of potential treatments, drugs, tests, etc. given my particular cancer. I found out that it is in fact Estrogen + which means that it can be treated with Tamoxifen - which is a good thing (if you're into hot flashes, night sweats and other hormone-related side effects, that is). We are still waiting on HER-2 Neu results and I'm thinking that we want to root for NEGATIVE. All of the other treatment stuff is still be determined based on the results of all of the testing in addition to a second opinion. Speaking of that... I'd love prayer that these opinions will be such that our decision is simpler rather than more difficult. It is hard enough to decide to pump your body full of poison, let alone be totally conflicted by extremely differing highly educated opinions on which poisons and when. Being me, I feel like I need to know the best thing to do all the time and in this case there just isn't enough time to complete med school and an oncology fellowship! yikes...

She also talked about future genetic counseling since I am so young (it is funny to keep hearing that from everyone when I had been really thinking to myself... wow, I'm pushing 40!! What a totally different perspective I'm getting...). I guess that means that if I am a BRCA carrier then I am at a much higher risk for cancer in the other breast as well as ovaries and uterus. I am already hearing myself writing apologies in Neely's journal for all of the testing that she is going to need to undergo at such an early age... They are telling me that her first mammogram will be at 26 (and don't forget that increased exposure to radiation is yet another risk factor for breast cancer for which she will already be at about the highest risk that she can be!! UGH). I hate to think that this may all influence her decision to have children.

I forgot to ask the nurse about exercise but I intend to going on doing it so I guess it doesn't matter... I am currently almost unable to eat. Who knew that I could be cured of such a lifelong disease just by picking up a little cancer?? However, I think that I'll still clean today because it is Friday and I clean on Fridays. Somehow, having cancer in a dirty house just seems that much worse...