Friday, June 19, 2009

it's Friday

thank goodness!!! I'm on the brink of my little escape from cancertown and I'm looking forward to the mental rest that it usually brings. Not that I won't be reading and things like that, but no doctors are calling, no sudden appointments come up and there is no imminent threat of i.v. I did hear from Dr. Ahrendt (the breast surgeon, or surgical oncologist - the "hack" as Darin likes to call her...) this morning to talk about all of the things that we already know (test results, etc.) in light of going ahead with scheduling. I think that she wanted to be sure that we were on the same page in terms of single mastectomy and just to reassure me that they haven't forgotten me. She insists that they are trying to find a date with Dr. Gimbel (the plastic surgeon) that will accommodate some healing time from the rib surgery - whenever that will be (and she did mention that it is rather painful... goodie). So, guess that we'll rendezvous with Dr. Shende on Monday and hopefully get this horror show on the road!

In light of all of this impending surgery and such, I spent the morning... cleaning the basement and cleaning up after the painter that was here yesterday (and, after further review of some of the "touch ups" that he did, will be returning shortly...). Somehow I thought that a diagnosis like this would impact me differently than it has in terms of my cleaning, cooking, laundry, and general routine neurosis. I thought that I would become more like those people that I've always admired who are able to properly prioritize such jobs in favor of spending quality time with their kids doing elaborate art projects and having marathon play sessions. Instead, I organized the kids to help and vacuumed the basement around Neely while she puttered with the ancient Fisher Price people house and climbed on and off of random bikes. I'm just hopeful that it will all be counted as quality someday when such things are tallied... And I am looking forward to a good round of Skippyjon Jones and Berenstain Bears before naptime (in 17 minutes... not that I'm counting...). I guess that it just boils down to... cancer or no, I'm still me... at least today I am. But I do think that a lot of things inside me have changed. I view my world differently... for example, instead of having a few choice words for the extremely rude lady honking at Nikki and I for not vacating our parking space in the Whole Foods lot quickly enough... really??? She was sitting there in her car honking and yelling out the window because she wanted the space we were sitting in... I did the exaggerated smile and wave routine when we "finally" pulled out. That probably wasn't terribly Godly however, because I wasn't thinking kind things inside... And I do think that I pace my life a LOT differently. Darin and I have both felt that change and truly, have welcomed it.
We spent last evening (recovering from my facial and trip to Trader Joe's... rough life that I am leading, eh!?!!) at Grandma's pad with our beloved old neighbors from across the street (hence the cheesy photo of Rebekah & Parker). What an awesome time of catching up and hanging out! So good to see you all (sorry that we missed you Jim & Jeff). It has been great for Audrey to bond with her "new" neighbors and to get a little help entertaining our brood. So glad to know that she is in such good hands.

2 comments:

  1. Glad to hear you got some good news yesterday - BRCA free!! Maybe the first month of this cancer saga seemed to be bad news after more bad news, and hopefully the bad news is over and "we" are onto some good news from here on out. We are in Charlottesville, and like you have lost sight of reality, but enjoy it while it lasts - have a great weekend. We will be back on Sunday the 29th and willing to help with the kids, etc... Even if you don't necessarily need it my boys have been asking for Dryden and Parker - BTW their birthday party will be when we get back, but no special requests for gifts from Nolan and Tucker- haha.

    Take care and good luck next week, we will be thinking of you!!
    Cortney

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  2. Cancer has profoundly changed you but in many ways it hasn't. THat's what I've found. I still do the day to day, occasionally yell at my kids, lose my patience with my husband, become irritated if the house isn't clean. But at least this is all normal, and normalcy is good, especially for your kids. In fact, things have remained so "normal", my kids rarely even speak of my cancer anymore, and I'm thankful for that.

    I pray for you daily. My small group in the South Hills is praying for you and your family.

    Habukkuk 3:19
    The Lord God is my Strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army; He makes my feet like hinds' feet and will make me to walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility]!

    -Amy

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