Return to reality

As we zip along route 80 through Pennsylvania towards Columbia Court we are anxious to see the little ones that we left at home but a little bit sad to return to the reality that we left behind. And I truly did leave it behind. I got my appetite back (the fresh omelets and cupcakes at the wedding as well as the grilled meats and Scott's birthday cake in Manchester were a big help...), for a few days anyway, and lived in a little bubble where cancer wasn't swirling everywhere around me. We got to cuddle baby Mia in her very first days of life and even spent a day with long lost friends at Hampton beach. It was much-needed. Parker has been a FANTASTIC traveler and has truly enjoyed being the recipient of all of mom & dad's attention. What a special time for all of us. So many thanks to all of you who prayed that this would be a relaxing time for us.

Unfortunately I picked up "Living through Breast Cancer" when I got back in the car and immediately felt the heaviness of permanent disfiguration, strong medication and the shadow of metastasis creeping back in. Ugh. While Friday's appointment was definitely somewhat positive, there still remain so many unknowns that it is difficult to have peace with our next steps. We will hit the ground running tomorrow morning with the CT and bone scans. By Thursday we should have all of the diagnostic testing behind us (I've started referring to everything as "we" and "us"... I've always been a team sport girl, I guess... sorry Darin! It's not as if he actually has cancer, but he surely has to live it. I couldn't be blessed with a better teammate... both in cancer and in life). Then it will be major decision time and we would welcome much prayer that we choose wisely. It is pretty tough to navigate this crazy cancer path and you are always wondering if you are doing enough, learning enough and seeing enough doctors (if you can believe that one...).

Matt & Andrea's wedding was on a beautiful New England day in Andover, MA (and btw... that was the BEST coffee that I've had in a long time. I may have to make a special visit back to the Andover Country Club just for a cup of joe... ha ha). It was so fantastic to see the many family members that we rarely see. We got to show off one of our adorable children (Nikki... wait until you see the pics of him in that jacket... it was priceless!) and he was sooo good. He was telling everyone who was trying to catch up before the service that we need to be very quiet! He also kept confusing Uncle Scott's birthday with cousin Matt's wedding ("is this the birthday?" and "will he take his father's name??" clearly we need to do some more talking about marriage...). We spent the next day at Hampton Beach in New Hampshire, chasing freezing cold waves, dodging blowing sand and having some fabulous fried seafood at Lupos. YUM!! But, just in case you are worried that I didn't get my recommended daily allowance of bulgur... Darin & I had spotted a Trader Joe's from the highway on the way up in CT, so we swung by there on the way home to hit Starbucks (once you get any farther north it is all Dunkin, all the time) and pick up some healthy treats for the way home (tabbouleh, anyone?). All of this was sandwiched around time with my immediate family playing wiffle ball in Scott's backyard, watching hockey (try not to despair, Ed...) and enjoying baby Mia.

All in all it was a really wonderful weekend. So many thanks to Grandma Hawn and all of the incredible friends who have helped her with Dryden & Neely. We are so blessed by all of you.