looming large

Here we are, two days away and trying to pack in as much fun as a hobbling, still-recovering chick can have. Thanks to my neighborhood girlfriends for getting together last night to cheer me on! It was great to see and visit with you all... can't believe that it was so suddenly that late!! Time flies when you're talking so much. ha ha We are so blessed by these friends who have known us such a short time but have poured out so much love and generosity on us. wow... what a wonderful gift you all are!!

I was just talking with Shawna (the wonder organizer... you all just wish that you could be even a little bit like her, eh??) yesterday about the fact that I really haven't even considered the emotional impact of Wednesday's surgery. All that I seem to be able to think about right now is the pain of the past surgery (about to be compounded by the next one...) and the CANCER. It is hard not to imagine it running wild throughout your body. Yeah, I've had every scan known to man but that was weeks ago now... what do you think crazy, angry cancer cells can do in that amount of time?? (and, if you know what they are capable of, please don't tell me... that was supposed to be a rhetorical release of my own pent-up fears) However, I am working overtime not to worry because as we were reminded yesterday in church, "Worry is a mild case of atheism". Because, either God is who He says He is or He doesn't exist at all (or he was a total crazy person claiming to be God and in control of the universe... you just can't have it both ways). If I claim to believe in Him and His promises to me - and I truly do, then there is no room for worry in my world.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I have to say that I do think that those worry prayers have been answered - for the most part. I wouldn't say that I have been doing a lot of worrying. I have had more issues dealing graciously with pain and discomfort as well as the feelings of missing out on my kids and everything else that is going on around my house. I've been focusing on how long this fight will be and how faraway "feeling good" really is. That just isn't productive for anyone. I can tell that my mood tends to bring everyone else down and that is just not acceptable to me for the long haul. So... therein lies the prayer request, I guess. That I will maintain a joyful outlook despite present circumstances. I think that is what Paul's entire ministry might have been about...

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." Romans 5:3-4

Thank you all for your continuing prayers, especially throughout this week when we go under the knife again! ugh... At least this is the true beginning of battling this cancer and we are more than ready to be making some serious progress in the right direction. I am hopeful that the resting that comes with this next surgery will help to clear up a lot of the remaining pain from the last surgery so that when it is time to take the next step I will feel a lot more ready to tackle it. The unbelievable support that we have been receiving continuously since this all started has truly served to carry us along. Our God is an awesome God and He is using you all whether you know it or not! (and with or without your permission... ha ha)