Oncology Aftermath

Ok, so let me just start by saying... it is wonderful that Dr. Puhalla is so personable and loves to spend plenty of time explaining something as horrific as cancer, BUT... we had a 12:30 appointment, probably saw her by about 3:30 and didn't leave until 5ish. OH MY!!!! Now, in between all of that I had to track down the correct size of post-mastectomy camisole (that they were supposed to give me after surgery... two weeks ago...), get my vitals done (incidentally my blood pressure was curiously high while I was describing the mastectomy camisole chase to my nurse), have a long, useless conversation with Dr. Puhalla's nurse practitioner (I swear that her whole job is just to keep people from completely losing their minds while they are waiting) and spend some one-on-one time with one of the chemo nurses getting an even more vivid description of what is to come (if the THREE prescriptions for anti-nausea medications are any indication...). Needless to say, we were both completely EXHAUSTED after all of this and poor Darin was headed straight back to the office for a meeting! I just had to rush straight home to eat some of Molly's fabulous cabbage rolls!! Lucky me... (followed by way too many Dudt's cookies and can I just tell you, Carissa, that we have cleaned out those sticky buns?!?? I won't even tell you how many I personally ate... I guess that it is fair to say that I am feeling a bit better today!)

So, the statistics are sobering, but we already knew that and we have just decided to focus on the fact that we are going to do everything that we possibly can to prevent a recurrence and go from there. We did learn that I am not a member of the cancer group that is considered cured after 5 years without a recurrence. Apparently the type of cancer that we are dealing with has what is called a longer "disease-free interval". In other words, there is no big celebration when we hit 5 years, we just keep plugging along praying that God's plan for my life involves some things that happen in my 80s! In the meantime, I will start chemotherapy the week of August 17th with 4 cycles that occur every three weeks, after which we go to a weekly regime for the next 12 weeks. (if you are slow with math, that is 6 months starting in the middle of August... we'll finish up around the middle of February somewhere) There is also a possibility that we will participate in a clinical study that could prolong treatment (although minus most of the side effects) for another couple of months - 7 actually... but, it could also prolong my life so it is worth considering. We're still weighing the pros and cons of that right now. As for the details... I'll be losing all of my hair about two weeks after treatment starts - great. Dr. Puhalla summed that up well saying, "you'll lose your hair and that's just bad... there's no easy way around that". I'm thinking that I will get most of it cut off tonight and save a swatch in case we can manage to get a wig financed through the ACS or somewhere. It does turn out that most women gain weight on chemo due to all of the other drugs that they give you to deal with the side effects. There are all kinds of risks of infection due to the decimation of your white blood cell count and seh did say taht the fatigue can be overwhelming (although exercise is the best anecdote - I've just started to get myself back onto the treadmill but the rib excision is still giving me some trouble) but I'm determined to try to get myself into the best possible health before we head down that path. We'll see... For now we are going to try to live a few weeks of near normalcy (all while visiting the radiation oncologist, getting the pre-chemo workup done and researching hair alternatives) before we plunge into the chemo abyss that will likely consume most of the next 6 months.

Praise the Lord for your continued faithfulness to us. We continue to be inundated with your love and attentions and I continue to marvel how they are all so different and arrive just as they are needed. I know that it seems so strange to keep repeating this little mantra, but God is good all the time and all the time, GOD IS GOOD!!! I hate having cancer, reading cancer books to my sad little ones (Parker told me today that he will try not to laugh when I am bald and Dryden is irate that there is a sign in the oncologist's office that says "Absolutely no children allowed") and letting my mind wander to how long I will get to be here... but I never doubt that God's plan is bigger and better than anything that my feeble mind can muster. If this is something that you just can't grasp (or if you just think I'm nuts... which might be true, although I am right about this...) find someone whom you trust that knows Jesus personally and ask them about it!! Believe me when I tell you that there is no time like the present. That is something that we have learned in such a real way over the past 2 1/2 months. Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today... because none of us knows how many tomorrows we have...